Month: July 2006

A very normal weekend day… I really don’t have a lot to say…..

 

River Hudson, near downtown Albany and near the river-front-barge.

 

Opposite side of River Hudson, picture taken from the river-front-barge.  

07/29/06.

 

The morning woke up from beside me,

And left me in my sleep undisturbed,

Noon placed her warm palm upon my face,

And feeling that warmth woke up I, and said,

“Oh’ what a wonderful summer day I woke up into”.

 

Late weekend lunch at the River-front-barge,

A new tradition of mine I love,

Chit chat with people, some friendly most wayfarers.

 

Movie and dinner at the mall, my good old tradition,

“Lady In The Water”, naa didn’t impressed me much,

The evening Oh’ how beautiful she came,

Drunk she was and puked all over me,

In the form of rain and with thunders beat me up,

And her bare body at me she flashed,

As lightning that tore all of my passions.

“Not immoral anymore” I said,

And into the night I stepped,

Though darker and silent, polite she was,

“Give me sweet dreams and be quite” I said to her,

Before my eyes I closed one time I looked,

Up to the heavens and in my mind I prayed,

“ May you give all good to all souls out there,

May the fighting find peace,

May the unloved find love,

May the hungry find food,

And may the orphaned and oppressed always find,

The guarding hands of yours in protection”.

 

A bit of peace, my mind found,

Into that bed of peace I crawled and forgot,

All conscious feelings material world can give.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

 

“If you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com“.

 A usual day… well… yeah a usual Friday, I just did not thought of anything special in this day to happen. Read the poem.

 

It is me trying to look at the camera after a long tiring and bleeeping day Friday.

   

This is another photo taken after about 3 hours. I turned off the A/C as I went for a walk and came back. You can see me sweating in this picture. I am getting good at typing with one hand. I typed in the poem for 07/27/06 holding the written version on the other hand.

 

 

The first draft of one of my favorite poems I wrote among the “Yesterdays” poems so far, “Eyes Of Lika”. If you try to read it you can see a lot of spelling mistakes, cuts and jumbled up lines. That’s how I write a first draft. I just pour it all into paper and don’t care much about any spelling or line order. Those are done while typing the poem into the computer.

07/28/06.

 

A morning I did not see, but in a dream I saw,

Through the valley unknown flourished,

And upon the wings of the wind from east spread.

 

Thoughts, Oh’ like maniacs blurred visions,

None stayed but left mind and body sway,

Still some greatness upon myself I thrust,

And stormed through a day that stormed the other way.

 

Dusk I did not see but for a dream I left,

The dream did not materialize but in soul, stalled.

The green pastures ahead, mocking mirages,

Eyes, lips, and every smile left in mind only gloom,

Still I smiled seeing the old pattern of life spread.

That old pattern, a look from love, leaving without a smile.

 

Oh’ how many evenings and nights I spent,

To change those patterns from inside,

Futile remained my efforts as in a tube remained I,

Oh’ in a kaleidoscope only a handful of bits of color one see,

And the pattern they make, to a handful they limit.

 

There are no ways out of this magnificence,

As ever blossoming life filled the air,

Oh’ is there a hand and soul out there to break this tube?

And add more bits of color to this kaleidoscope.

 

I asked again and again but only thin air listened,

Thin air still might have listened when I snored,

And those patterns prepare for another familiar change,

With the same set of colors I watch,

Everyday, and walks through in boredom

And every night with it sleeps.

 

“If you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com“.

 

Thursdays some are good some bad. Financially a disaster. Well… you all know I don’t care about money. It comes today goes away tomorrow. Me?… I stay the same today, tomorrow and forever haha. Said that… I am kinda feeling different. Keep reading these “Yesterdays” poems, my poems speaks better than me.

 

07/27/06.

 

The sun might’ve laughed,

When his fire-filled wings he spread,

Seeing me sleeping, snoring loud.

 

I woke up with half of me,

The other half sleep walking, inside.

 

The hours of work from everywhere screamed,

And they all with the busy schedules sprinted.

 

What a day, that caught me and swayed,

Every inch of my material being,

Evening smiled at me, so did many faces, for my surprise.

 

Oh’ I wished yesterday forever stayed,

No ups, downs, or piercing pain to heal,

I am awakening from the coma called Love.

 

Late at night a laugh from me started,

For the pain upon myself I thrust,

With the word love attached in front and back.

 

Fool I am to pain my soul so pure,

Wise I am to erase from my life those souls, so impure,

Lucky I am to enjoy ever the pain of my soul,

And thankful I am to live in this time so great,

Knowing, liking and loving so many souls,

Far greater than mine in vision, words and deeds.

 

After so many weeks I slept,

In the arms of the night Angels with peace,

With a smile upon my face that stayed,

Probably all night, from the dreams I saw.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM.

 

“If you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com“.

An extraordinary day… I like these kinda days, that take me through the every possible feeling. Even though I write many depressing poems and describe myself as an ugly loser… Didn’t I always tell that I love my life? If you haven’t heard it before, from now on you can’t say, I didn’t say it. Haha. Part of the following poem is written looking at Angelika, in short Lika. The inspiration she is, for me to write poetry is indescribable.

 

07/26/06.

 

A snow owl lost ways in the summer warmth,

Though darkness blanketed every corner, eyes can see,

Still the warmth all around dirty danced.

 

Oh’ the owls cry in the near and far I heard,

Waking me inside first, knowing well the agony he felt.

 

Scattered dark clouds slowly marched,

Only their movement in the dark I saw,

In their time everything the lords of the dark dominates,

And leave thoughtless fear upon my heart in depression swayed.

 

Oh’ then far above a bunch of cloud I saw,

The siege of dark, by light rays broken,

Oh’ in my mind I saw the morning’s arrival,

Like a billion Jasmines blooming all at once.

 

The morning dragged the lazy me,

And pushed into a noon that relayed me,

To an evening that into my mind whispered

Gloomy thoughts that clutched my heart into pain,

And reality in those whispers and pain, took an early nap.

 

Even when lark lords marched their way back,

The never resting spirit inside lingered in gloom,

And through the virtual magnificence she came with a glow,

Deep from her soul, asking for my words in verse weaved.

 

To her and the world only one word I said “Serenity”.

With every glimpse and every sound I heard,

O with the merger of those senses I weaved,

Verses to her soul I said.

 

“Serenity.

 

Oh’ the serenity of a lake I see,

As a poetic mind upon that tranquility floats,

With thoughts about love invaluable, 

And dissolves into that serenity of love,

That serenity is what I see, in your eyes.

 

What beautiful thoughts in my mind I feel,

As your lips blossoms and words like pearls falls,

Every thought your soul conceive,

And whisper into the mind of yours,

Glow through every inch of yours,

When you speak those thoughts in words,

Through those beautiful lips of yours.

 

You are a beauty who can move,

Mountains with a wink,

You can calm storms with a smile,

And unfreeze winter freeze with a touch.

 

A hundred years before if we met,

I would’ve said all the same loving words I said today,

All the loving words today I say,

Still will remain, even when my soul by eternity carried.”

 

Lika left after leaving her charm upon my heart,

Then again I said “Oh you to whom this poet promised

Put in line my life I will,

To fulfill the promise I gave,

Every time I see your face I will,

Gather the essence of all love I lost,

And for the happiness of your soul, write I will”.

 

Then to those dark lords I said,

“Take me in a dream, close to her heart”.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

This day was full of spiritual thoughts. It was deep and it is deep. There are people who don’t understand how spirituality unites every living being. Well.. I am not going to go deep into that. I am only going to say what that for me did. The multiple way through which I passes and every day I take a different path and approach to deal with cards given to me. The end result, no matter what, God never let me weep.

 

07/25/06.

 

Tuesday morning around me crawled,

As up from my sleep I woke,

Dancing in the sunlight through the curtains sneaked,

I embraced the day, month and season, unconditionally.

 

I will let the world walk over me,

I will look beyond what senses can feel,

I am the poet, the lover and above all the man,

Who for reasons unknown exists,

Never will I let a day decide, my happiness,

Never will I let another soul define, my satisfaction.

 

Many souls who their own thoughts defined,

And upon me religiously thrusts,

Oh’ those unholy souls, one by one, from my life I erase,

Along with this day that erases,

Second after second from the present and into the past write.

 

Oh’ the mockery of selfishness I adored and now despise,

As alone in a spiritual path I drive,

Where there are no mornings, noon, evenings and nights,

As every moment in the pleasantness of my soul enchanted,

A soul in worthiness blessed and belongs to Almighty,

From whom no rewards I seek,

As all I have and all I don’t have are rewards,

In pleasant blessings unimaginable.

 

The noon, evening and night materialistically danced away,

Sleepless, in thoughts with a mind clam, rested I,

And watched another day waking up in a dance, materialistically.

 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

“If you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com“.

A day of no wishes… it looked too gloomy through my eyes. A lot of thoughts, a lot of talks, a lot of frustration. I wondered about nothing. I remembered an old prediction by a famous astrologer in India about me. “None should predict your future, as your life will fail every prediction”. True that.

 

07/24/06.

 

Looking at the morning that stands dry,

Though grey the sun still blasts,

All his power into the season of warmth,

The greenery waved in the adoration,

The birds grooming themselves, in shade rested,

And the late morn departed without leaving a thought.

 

Time’s progression through the day was gradual,

Lazy eyes saw faces smile less,

Some stared and fast away they turned,

As if a criminal blunder was done.

 

The evening like a crayon drawing in stillness stayed,

An outline of a beauty in protest left,

Or pruned away before bloomed.

 

Oh’ tried I to gather a moment to remember,

But none was there as gloom of the dark crept,

Into every corner of mind in frustration still searched.

 

Oh’ I am a painter who became color blind,

A storyteller, who in amnesia wept,

An athlete, who broke his arms and legs,

A soldier, who lost all his ammunitions,

But still a poet, who wrote in the language of the heart,

Verses, praising the love of a beauty nonexistent,

Who felt the grip of the night through sleep,

Way early than every other day with emptiness filled.

 ©RIAZAHAMMED.COM.

“If you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com“.

The confusion in the mind was not new. There is somethingelse in my mind. There are long, long poems I plan to write. I need time,space, money and above all more loneliness. Haha.. the world is too crowded forme or at least my world. This is part of a self talk. Sounds crazy isn’t it.Haha.. The only answer to the question “What is your problem” to me is“Insanity”. In another way… that is the key.

07/23/06.

Away and away, from oneself I felt,
Lying upon a pillow with little room to breathe,
The morning a long time back galloped away,
Noon knocking on all doors with all strength,
Got up I to know I am a day more older.

After getting up, barely I could walk,
As all the strength inside of me, oversleep consumed.

Oh’ tired I am, as inside and outside I felt,
The real man behind myself dragging,
Himself hard to keep up with the masquerade,
Why did you loved all who never cared?
Why did you jumped into devilish traps?
Why did you poisoned your own self,
In your race to oblivion?
All the ‘why’ questions asked he.

Oh’ didn’t I walked through paths paved,
With truth and honesty dipped in morality?
Didn’t I walked away when inappropriate I saw?
Didn’t I unleashed into actions, thoughts unselfish,
When all I loved pierced my heart deep?
Tell me where will I hide this pain unbearable?
Yourself lame and crawling, tell me should I crawl too?
Still, so near to you I always will remain,
As you the real will someday burn down this clown,
As from being a filthy unloved will gain,
The strength of love, when your soul will be loved,
Until then this masqueraded clown will carry you,
From then, the love you gain will carry you,
Into the depths of eternity.

Oh’ daytime burned out and stars up in the heavens thrown
When the inner arguments finished,
And to the night after a long time I spoke,
“Bring to me dreams in my lifetime unseen,
Take this cancer of consciousness away and bring,
The beauty called sleep, who outside my door waiting,
The door of my mind only she opens and closes, when needed”.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM.

Uneventful weekend in every material ways. Well, when looking through the spiritual side…haha I can sing “What a wonderful weekend”. It was good. I got a grip on the control buttons. That’s it.

07/22/06.

 

A weekend morning I haven’t seen,

In many years of my life upon earth,

So many colorless dreams flying around,

Some kissed upon the eyes and colorful they became,

Many others perplexed and flown away colorless.

 

Nice I thought the day will be,

But rain from the muscles of the dark clouds poured,

Once again, River Barge became our place for lunch.

 

Oh’ what a wonderful sight to see the rain lashing,

Upon Hudson in patience grew a little more,

Ducks swimming around and to grab a mean down the dive,

And mind relaxed watching pretty faces around.

 

The weekend evening uneventful I kept,

Some scattered thoughts lingered,

Like the clouds after the afternoon rain,

Nymphomaniacs walked around with vulture eyes,

I smiled at the pitiful conditions of these sex machines,

Then for my early sleep away to my room I walked,

Knowing once more there still lives man inside me,

Who once upon a time lived in thoughts and actions, saintly.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM     

A string of poems. I did wrote… then I thought…. You all don’t deserve this… in a good way and bad way. Haha… There are people I know thinking about every bad things I do and write in here. Well to all of them I ask what did you all do when only through the good path I walked? Now I know, I deserve better. Does any of these make any sense to anyone?….mmmm may be not, that’s why I said… you all don’t deserve this… the good of it and the bad of it.

 “Yesterdays” will continue in LonelyPoet.Com.

 

07/21/06.

 

From the torment of darkness light saved,

Mind both conscious and sub-conscious,

Along with light came warmth of the summer sun,

Friday is here some happy thought in me proclaimed,

“What difference does it makes? “

The pessimist with a growl asked,

Angry young man you can’t be the optimist argued,

I left those idiots to argue in me and took a late start,

Lunch with colleagues at the River Barge,

Broken party with couple of friends,

The day hop-stepped and jumped all over me.

 

Oh’ the nighttime stormed from the back unknowing,

A long warm day collapsed and fell apart to the wrath,

Of the dark horses who all ran over the evening crushing,

Beauty that lit candles upon the western sky.

 

As upon the couch I stretched,

With eyes into the darkness of sleep drowning,

Somewhere inside the mind I can hear,

The pessimist’s celebration of his victory.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM 

 

Yesterday’s poem is named as “Eyes Of Lika”. Who is Lika? I only saw her over the internet. This is what happened. One of my internet friends in Russia introduced me to a website after I told him I am bored last week. I don’t think it is a good idea to disclose the site address to such a young crowd. It is a site where one can find pictures and videos of naked Russian girls. I told Nicholai I am not interested in those. He told me that I will be able to chat with those girls. I stayed and he was right, there are times when I can chat with some of those girls. Those girls only take off their clothes and chat with you they won’t do anything else. If one ask them even to touch themselves, one will get kicked out of the site by administrators. Some may dance, some speak through a microphone, some sing. In a way it is a virtual strip club. I am a total misfit there as I tell them “Hey keep your clothes on, chat with us”, which will drive other guys there crazy as those guys are there only to see the nakedness.

   Couple of days back I met Lika, one of the models there. She is very thin but she do have amazing eyes. I went back yesterday as through her thick accent and broken English she told she will be there yesterday. The following poem ends with what happened with Lika. During the chat I only wrote this “Hey Lika, If you held my hands why I need my eyes, As through your eyes I see heaven, As heaven lies in your eyes” She told me that she liked it and I should write more about her. This poem is written in the last two days. I elaborated on what I wrote in the chat room. Lika herself may not see this poem, even if she sees this poem I don’t think she will understand what it means as from what I know, her knowledge of English is limited.

  This post and poem may give many of you a very bad impression of me. So be it… I never claimed be a good man at all, even though at the end of the day yesterday I felt that there still remains some good in me.

 

Read.

 

07/20/06-Eyes Of Lika.

Mind grabbed some serenity from a bright morn,

And moved through a day lived in some promises unknown.

 

The drought up from heavens felt,

Upon the living, the dead and the living dead,

Oh’ why did people for more sun prayed,

When old man winter performed the dirty dance with fall.

 

As the hot day passed me by,

My thoughts, stale they are in their hunt,

For finding reasons, for the chaos in my mind I feel.

 

Oh’ stale remains a heart unloved,

And I once more succumbed to the virtual world,

Paths well paved, doors well decorated,

Oh’ what a world I walked into,

I looked at the model who welcomed,

In politeness of an enchantress,

Dreaming I am not as for my request she shown close,

Eyes unseen in my life of nearly four decades,

Took off all her clothes and smiled,

To write a poem about her she asked,

Everyone expected me to write,

About the beautiful naked body in front of me I saw,

But those serene eyes that glowed and held,

The beauty of her soul that erased,

Everything material through her spiritual charm,

And I wrote my verse with my eyes upon her eyes fixed,

“You hold me with nakedness of beauty perfect,

Five senses I have all in union,

Sings to my mind about the soul they see,

Through the nakedness of your eyes,

Not the nakedness of the body you show,

In the grip on my mind with your eyes you show,

Heaven of a kind poetically unimaginable,

As through those eyes the doors of heavens opens,

Where such a perfect soul roam flawless,

And shows the living upon this earth,

The heaven you are and the heaven in they will be”.

 

Lika read those lines and turned,

She danced, spoke and sung,

But my eyes never missed those eyes filled,

With some subdued feelings that erased,

Every bit of shyness from her mind,

Wonderful beauty she sure is,

Sexy and charming with her nakedness,

The flawless soul is what this poet saw,

And flawless remained the poet in his time with her.

 

I sat upon the couch motionless and felt,

That good old self, deep inside me,

Whom I thought died and buried away a long time back.

 

With a sigh of relief once more Lika I thanked,

And to her request, promised I to write more, before I left,

Even when the tiredness of the day and sleep gnawed,

My mind and body mercilessly,

Those eyes to my minds-eye still spoke,

The language of the heart I understand,

With a promise to write more the poet too slept.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM