Month: July 2006

This poem was not written with a lot of thought. I just tookmy pen at about 3:00PM today and started scribbling in an old notepad. Well…when I later read the poem, I smiled and said “True, very true”. Then took awalk in thoughts and said, “I will never change me, as I respect myself a lotfor who I am”. Smiled again and continued the walk.

 Read      

07/19/06.

‘Reality, Oh’ what an ugly monster’, I said,
When from the valley of a dream I woke,
The craving for life pulsed hunger all over senses,
But the bare-naked truth through my life, I learned
There are no foods I can gather,
To kill the hunger as what is needed, outside wanders,
Satisfying sense of sight and sound leaving,
The rest to crave and crave and become sterile.

The weirdness of some crime unknown I felt,
As deep from my heart I once more heard,
The song of love with a call for love and I said “No”.

The garden of love in real exists not,
All the flowers died and rotten away,
All the sweet singing birds migrated,
To other gardens for reasons, I know not.

The day with the fury of sun consumed,
Every bit of energy one saved,
Oh’ summer is a season I hate,
For the heat it brings, inside and all around.

What an evening, with all its glory came,
Great thoughts inside my mind clutched,
Poetry poured through the stubborn heart,
As fingers moved over sheets, versifying the great old art.

Oh’ the long light-filled day, with a smile parted,
And the western wind blew, with a bit of cool,
Scattered clouds with the stars played hide and seek,
Once more said I to the world of romance,
Come and get me, if you want me,
I don’t want you, if you don’t want me.

Then, alone upon the wings of a dream flown,
High above to see the beauty of a garden in a valley,
Deliberately unnamed as those flowers stand ever bloomed,
Untouched and always echoes my stubborn word of “No”.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

“If you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com“.

Hello All,
     I see lot of new comers in this site from the footprints they leave. Some even left comments in Guestbook unknowing that I made this a read only site. I appreciate everyone who visited and read my poems. Right now I am disabling the Guest Book also. This means, ‘if you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments  in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com’. The quoted line will be there after every poem I post so that any new comers will know where to leave a comment for my poems.

Thanks again and have a great day.
LonelyPoet.

I don’t like Tuesdays period. Something will gowrong. Well I thought yesterday was an exception but trying different thingswas the problem. I am not detailing what I tried different. It was that bad.Well read the poem, there is one line in the poem that gives a suggestion aboutwhat I tried different and blew a pretty good day to a day of seekingforgiveness.

07/18/06.

The images, unclear they remained,
Long sighs passed, then the treasure of clarity came,
Faces by an invisible hand pulled down,
Some screamed in pain, some furious in frustration,
Some with vengeance smiled.

The ones torn down flown away in the wind,
The dark covered their nakedness but light unclothed,
Oh’ they all in the blink of eyes gone,
As brightness caressed the air with warmth so soft,
Leaving a bright smile upon my face.

Tuesday, the day of madness has arrived,
“What madness waits out there?” I asked,
With the power of self-esteem, I stormed the day,
A fall in my heart unknown,
As every bit of confidence I gathered.

Thunders and lightning, storms and rain,
Oh’ I walked to and fro to take them upon my face,
But the sun remained blazing as if in a mocking laugh,
No cloud around, no leaves moved, as warm, weather became,
Not even the known and unknown humans dared to question.
“Beat me O day if you can” the day and world I challenged,
Nothing came and the sun too out of sight rolled,
With a victory smile before my laptop I sat,
Chatting with a naked beauty in the Siberian north,
She cursed herself saying “Many, many mistakes I did”
Then I said “Aren’t we all a mistake by God?”,
For a moment I froze and the chat room I left,
As I know the fall and madness from within me came.

Rest of the evening with a heavy heart I spent,
Every breath spent in the plea for forgiveness,
As I know God never made any mistake,
And all I have and all I don’t are all blessings,
I never understood but with protests lived.

Night spread its dark rugs and even owls slept,
I kept myself awake as my reciting of pleas,
For forgiveness of my mischief increased,
Even when my breath grew longer I remembered saying,
“Forgive me Oh’ God, forgive me, for all my mischief”.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Yesterday was a day that never had any downs in it. I justwalked into the day with nothing in my mind. And everything looked good at theend of the day. Well… Read the poem and it will speak more about a Monday. Theyare usually very normal or in another way a nothing special day.

07/17/06.

I opened my eyes and more darkness I saw,
For being kind, God Almighty I thanked,
As from virtual death I once more woke up.

Wake up now, wake up now I told the morn,
The red rays of the summer sun seemed shy,
To show the bare naked sun to the eyes of a poet,
I closed my eyes for the sun to wear,
The cloak of light that can show my eyes,
The vast greenery around where I live.

The first working day of the week at snail pace went,
Program codes, meetings and conference calls,
With its on dynamism built in, the actions at work,
Everyday in everyway the combinations changed,
Like the images in a kaleidoscope.

Evening came, the sun uncloaked and into hiding went,
Early night flown away as with my friends I drove,
In the city in the tiredness of a hot day laid,
Music and talks, arguments and laughs all filled,
In our drive through the city and suburbs,
Oh’ hours went by like minutes,
Before everyone went to rest and sleep,
When alone, through the big window I looked,
Jupiter in all his glory seemed smiling,
What an existence far, far away with no life, I thought,
But sure for the balance of others he rolls on strong,
I pressed my head upon the pillow hard,
As far, far away I felt,
Anyone who can understand me,
And in a way an illusion is it all,
As none really ever existed to understand me at all.

All life in a search I drowned,
Some faces and gestures I loved but all vaporized away,
Some still in the mind as broken dreams linger,
Some just to break heart a little more stays on,
Why did I searched and why should I search,
Conscience asked with a voice deep and tired,
And not to search anymore I decided,
In my way to sleep after a warm and bright day.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Sunday came and went… I know I am closing all doors in and out. Trapping oneself is not a good idea always. But there are times it is better to trap inside a box. I am trapping myself inside my own Poetrybox.

 

07/16/06.

One night with one dream filled,

Upon on the center table from the couch I rolled,

With the sounds of things falling down I woke,

“Good Timing” said I after the falling laptop I saved.

 

The dream from my mind by itself erased,

As the day bit by bit in front of me cleared,

A day meant for many wonderful souls,

Not a day for a soul like mine, with all wrong filled.

 

Joked around through the afternoon,

But the spiritual mind in all calm stayed,

As deep inside the spiritual self I know,

I am a clown who failed to make others laugh.

 

Sunday boredom through the evening came,

The summer sun dance in the blazing heat I enjoy not,

As sweat wet my uneven cut hair.

Internet chats and phone calls, Oh’ they never stop,

The chatters changed one after the other,

Everyone talked about the heat wave that wrapped around,

Though none about the heat in the soul cared,

I looked around and thought,

Days of storms, Oh’ where are they?

 

Even nights don’t cool the flesh,

That wrap around the soul that felt a thirst,

When closing my eyes for sleep I prayed,

Oh’ No more dreams that makes my life unrealistic.

 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Pirates Of The Caribbean’s haha that was the event of the day on Saturday. Well I was thinking of going for this movie last week but busy schedules and my laziness kinda kept me away from almost everything. Well… Saturday I saw this bizarre and violent dream about Pirates attacking a ship and looting them. Then I thought I must see this movie at any cost today. I went with my buddy Mike. The starting filled us both read the poem you will know.

  

07/15/06.

The silver linings upon the curtains glittered,

As sun rays fought hard to sneak,

Some sure sneaked in and upon my face danced.

 

When was the last time a weekend morn I have seen, I forgot,

The mid-noon sun fired his rays warming all to upper nineties,

Turned around and to sleep more I tried,

Bending and squeezing my legs together under the comforter.

 

The ship masts were high and sail held on strong,

Skull and bones upon the moth eaten black rug,

Still seen from miles far,

Cutlass at each other crashed dripping blood,

Faces red, mixed with anger and fear,

Cannons and pistols fired filling air with smoke,

Oh’ pirates became killing machines to plunder,

To save the treasures for some monarch extravagant,

The so called men of good fought, died,

And perished into the ocean’s depths,

The pirates howled in celebration,

Intoxicated by the fury of killing and well-aged rum.

 

From the scattered ruins floating,

Far away, the view moved slowly,

Deep and spread far, the ocean laid in calm,

Reflecting light away as if a billion diamonds spread,

Upon blue velvet in the northern wind moved.

 

The reality woke me up as sun pierced,

And burned my bare neck and warmed my hair,

Oh’ what a deadly battle dream I have seen,

Pain and death celebrated by the mockery of wealth,

Even these days’ legends of pirates tell,

How they lived, killed and died.

 

The newspaper shown a face of a pirate,

And me and my friend to see that movie of pirates went,

‘Pirates Of The Caribbean’s’ I loved the action and fun,

Johnny Depp Oh’ what an eccentric pirated he can be,

Bloom bloomed inside every young girl’s heart.

 

Late evening as usual I spent,

Scribbling verse about love in real I feel,

When the sleepy eyes drooped,

And pen from my hand dropped,

My mind became a screen and showed,

The best scene from the movie earlier I’ve seen,

The starting, from the bosom of Kyra Knightly,

Imprinting in my mind pixel by pixel that beauty,

In wonder and admiration, I always will remember.

 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

There was this talk with someone on Friday.That’s what this poem is all about. I usually don’t force anything upon me,well I have to, as this love I feel for this girl in all way is inappropriate.I am not going to give any details as that will expose her identity. I alsorequest her not to comment on this post and poem. It is nothing but love I feeland love in return is something I may not have. The whole thing is something Ithought I am way over and unreal. Now I know it is not unreal and in the comingdays, I have to get over this, because there is no appropriate or real goodending to this. I will succeed in getting over it, as I must.

07/14/06.

The early morning sun I did not see,
Can’t look at him when I woke up as in all his glory he blazed,
The Friday laziness through every vain wrapped,
Still the calendar shouted at me to be at work.

Oh’ the darling mind so matured yet so young,
The one I will always answer without doubt,
Frustration or sadness I don’t know,
She held my mind with her words and mine,
All day even hunger and busy schedules never bothered.

Real is my love for her with no reality to end,
Mind swayed when heard she is in doubt and pain,
Oh’ no way I can win your heart; no way I can walk away,
From my own conscience, yet, I still took my dirty laundry,
To clean as much as I can.

When closing my eyes I can see myself walking,
Over the ruins of a burned down city,
Charred bricks and woods, smoldering concrete,
Red hot metals and the wind blowing up burned papers.

These are the images of my own love I see,
Still a smile of satisfaction upon my face spread,
As far away I am and as far away as I can I will remain,
When the best feeling I ever felt for anyone,
In purity haunts and she in love,
Is loving and in the love she love.

Even when I walk around and talk to people,
I still feel the smell of ashes,
I know I burned down that city of inappropriateness,
As I sing a lullaby to the love lover in me,
For him to take his eternal sleep.

When watching stars far away I thought,
Oh’ sleep consume me as long as you can,
As peace of mind is an illusion only in sleep comes.
And dark and silent remained the rest of my night.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Mo Cuishle,

     Haha, it is okay…
for you to tell me what they told. It may piss me off but they are all too far
away to feel the wrath of my Samurai Sword hehehe. Anyway I am quite cool about
it all. You know I will be.

  Looks like there is a
pattern of peace and chaos between us. That’s not a big matter now isn’t it?

  How is your mom? Is
she doing alright? My mom had a hysterectomy when I was like 10 years old…. I
was so scared at that time. Convey my regards to her to get well soon. She
indeed is a wonderful woman.

Have a great weekend.

Riaz Ahammed.

There are things I want to forget. I just can’t. That is theproblem if one become all real and start telling the bare naked truth. Well…There are things that fade away but never will it get erased. Trying to getthings to fade that’s what many poems are all about.

07/13/06.

From the couch after a short sleep I woke,
Breakfast, shower they all came and gone,
Work killed half of my muse, before they were conceived,
But a thrill with hunger and thirst lingered.

The evening brightened up my mind,
And after some pretty looking legs I walked,
Nothing else I watched or heard,
But  felt the heat in real upon the face,
And started sweating in the vengeance of the evening sun.

Evening I spent with my friends talking,
Early night I wrote in mind what thoughts I should write,
Remembered these lines a while ago I wrote,
In the pages of a face unforgettable.

“Spreading the wings far beyond horizons, stands,
The feelings of enchantment and fulfillment,
May those feelings always be in flight,
May those wings always cover,
When material world go in retrograde to wishes.”

Oh’ memories are always a wonderful curse,
Can’t swallow because of bitter inappropriateness,
Can’t spit as the sweetness of love so real,
Back into my couch I laid then sprung up,
As the warm night in silence spread,
A walk outside brought in a thousands lines of verse,
But they all faded away in the bitterness earlier I felt.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Mo Cuishle,

       Interesting question, wow how will it feel I don’t know. You know, I was trying not to talk to you at all. That was what I was talking about in the last post. I blocked you then felt really sad. Then last week I deleted the comments about your pictures from your MySpace site and kept quite. Mmm.. you broke the silence. I really liked that picture with your smile… I was trying just the opposite of what I felt when I wrote that rude comment (so sorry about that).

  I don’t know what will help and what will not. Never tell that my love was a feeling unreal. It is real, that’s why even after fighting it for more than a year I am having trouble getting over it.

  Don’t get offended by my poems…. For Today’s poem (Yesterday-07/12/06) it became necessary for me to tell in the situation area who I am talking about. Otherwise, you may think it is you I am referring to in that poem. I cannot guarantee that there won’t be any reference about you in my future works. It will be there. If you feel offended by anything let me know I will remove it.

 

Riaz Ahammed.