Month: January 2007

Almost about 18 to 20 hours of the last 12 days were spent between my regular work and online doing some help for others. Well so I don’t know what is going on outside of my little bubble. So I am not going to write any appreciative or critical comment here.

 

  During my online journey, I met this girl online and the following poem was written using many lines I told to her. I would’ve never written a poem out of it. But the emotional me have no choice but to be who I truly am. A poet. She is an amazing person, unlike many who came to my life with promises, this girl never promised anything and never said any excuses. Even to the question of a date she said, I need to know more about you before I date you and she is knowing more about me even as I write this. Like the good old saying says, “What goes up must come down” but this time around I am more optimistic than ever as the person I am dealing with is a lot more open hearted that anyone I ever met. So I hope and pray, this time my love that I spread up into the air will come down with another’s love.

 

    A paragraph in this poem was written out of an idea of the lyrics of a Tamil song, I love this song, I was listening to this song when I wrote this poem, so I used the literal translation of the words in that song in the first line of that paragraph. The paragraph that starts with “Oh my lover, Oh’ my love is the one I am talking about. I used the idea as it really matches the reality in front of me. I must add here, that this poem will never be published in a book as some part is not mine.

 

This poem is for you Angelina( the name given here is only a nickname she uses while online, the real name I will tell when I feel it is appropriate.)

 

 

 Madison, Wisconsin

 

Peace.

As long as silence remains,
Mind inside like a volcano boils,
The rhythm of the heart uneven,
The feelings from it all, pain of the longing.

When in real not seen,
But in the awe of the beauty of that soul,
The mind of a lonely lover sung,

“The notes of music are seven,
The colors of rainbow are seven,
They all touch senses and fade,
There is only one face for my love,
A face that is imprinted in my senses,
Your face.

Oh’ my lover, Oh’ my love,
What are you going to do with my love,
When upon your heart, I am about to paint my love,
If you ask my eyes, I will give it to you with happiness.
As my love for you will show me the way,
And to the heaven of love it will lead,
And that heaven of love this day I know,
Is your soul, Oh? my love.

The tides came and gone,
The night wind is roaming wild,
Silence creeping deep into soul,
But with closed eyes your face I see from memory,
A throbbing heart awaits the return of you.”

Those notes of music filled the air,
And your smile filled my veins,
And thinking about the little moments with you I spent,
And about a lifetime with you I may spend,
My mind through the beauty of your eyes reached,
The land of peace, my everlasting love for you.

It has been reported that MTV TRL is going to be over soon. The blamewill be on MTV as well as many music video directors. The generationthat loved the music videos lost their attention span to watch a musicvideo in full mainly because of the content of the music videos showingcolors unseen by mankind and showing content that cannot be watched bygeneral public is on one side, on the other side, MTV just watchedstanding on the sideline the ratings of TRL going down, down, down thedrain. What a pity.

Katherine McPhee  last year started her work on her self titledalbum but looks like got the taste of the stupid music business. Two ofher favorite music tracks didn’t made the final cut. Why don’t sherelease her songs on the internet? It will be a better idea thanbending her knees for the pressure of an arrogant industry. The successof Koopa the band from England that released their music only on theweb in the British Charts should be precedence for young aspiringmusicians. Do not let money mongering corporations control your talent.Decide your own destiny and let the world dance to your tunes.

This Poem: I have no idea what really inspired me to write this poem.May be this phrase I told when getting into my car “The lover in me isdead, but the soul of that lover will never die” I don’t know whatprompted me to say that. I was happy till that moment then quite restof this morning. In the afternoon after my soup only lunch I startedtyping in this poem word by word into the word processor. It justcame.. you tell me if there is something wrong with it.

The sky in the dying light of the day blazed,
Little birds in hurry gathered food in the beaks,
Leafless trees murmured in the wind,
Rubbing bare branches, like the chant of monks.

An evening that failed in melancholy of the day,
That day into mind penetrated deep,
Breaking heart and the swollen tear ducts,
Death is freeing of pain for the dead,
Beginning of pain for the loved ones.

At the break of the day from her pain she woke,
Held the hand of her lover and vowed,
Eternal love once more and wiped,
Her own tears of pain of her cancer,
Then she looked into thin air and smiled,
May be seen the inevitable fate piercing,
The claws of death deep into her ending life.

Mind frozen, he wandered in the winter cold,
No thoughts into his mind came,
All senses paused as no more they can understand,
What to gather, for his loving mind,
As all that he loved laid motionless,
Oh’ senses can only whip sadness from his soul.

Sadness leads to helplessness,
But the smiling face of her from his soul rose,
And through his memories spread,
Those days before love consumed them both,
Her protests, anger and her reddened face,
The evening when her first told her his love,
The eagerness in her eyes when she heard his words,
And the happiness through her face spread,
Then in acknowledgement to his mind.

Then her imprinted face woke up the memories,
About the days of love that filled in his life and hers too,
The laughs and the cries, the tightened lips in her protests,
All in love and in the end with a smile she erased,
The wonder girl in all her prettiness stood,
And held his face when he fell in the tiredness of life.

Then the face opened the doors of his memories,
That filled with the pain on her own face,
Holding her tears even when the pain of cancer ripped,
Her apart from inside and all her material beauty,
That soul still stood by him as long as she can,
The fell into his hands as body lost all its strength.

Her own face that imprinted in his soul,
Shown him the way to find peace with his sorrow,
As she gave him love he can live with for a lifetime and more,
The squeezing pain he still felt has no material base,
As it vanished in those sweet memories of her,
Though she died and went away from every eyes,
Her soul found a new life as that smiling face,
In his soul surrounded by the love of him for her,
She lit with her own fulfilled life.

Football, football, football… what more is there in the minds of millions of football fans in America? Even if the most beautiful exotic dancer comes in front of me and dance naked most men  will say…”Step away dear, let me watch the playoffs”. And the games are great too, every second matters to the most. With precise calculations every drive and play planned and the vengeance of warriors these players fight in the field and once the game is over they all walk away shaking hands. It is fantastic to see fans yell and scream at each other during the games. The bets and the costumes, the winning screams and the loser’s disappointments. There are people who takes their teams loses very personally. Some even talk to psychics about games. Many don’t talk to their wives and kids. However at the end of the day… it is all a laughing matter. We are all beautiful people inside and outside isn’t it?

This poem, written about some thoughts I had a while ago. This is written from something I recorded one day while driving to work. Before I deleted those recordings from my voice recorder I wrote it down and wrote this poem out of it.

Have a great week ahead of you all.

The City Of San Francisco.

Gather around are pheasants in the season of fall,
Oh’ the fear in their eyes, from fiery bullets hiding,
And the fun of the hunters enjoying pain and death.

The golden rays of sun all around scattered,
The bare naked branches of trees stood shy-less,
Like love lost lovers in the awe perplexed.

The grass under the shoes, stubborn and strong,
May be in anger at the dry cold wind,
In some unknown fury blown from north.

The golden rays with the morning dust disappeared,
The sun looked like a big cotton ball in the middle of clouds,
Darkness in insomnia wandered between minds of the unloved.

When thinking about the unloved,
Could only wander in the darkness of streets,
And wish hands not empty but by another squeezed.

When pushing away those days with love filled,
As days of illusions, mind first regains pleasantness,
Then when known about emptiness, in eternal sadness buries.

Oh’ in sadness of the lost glory mind think,
Did time wrote the meaning of love,
Using the beauty of dusks seen?
As what after the dusks I see,
Is darkness creeping through every creation senses can feel.

Oh’ illusion indeed is love as feelings comes and goes,
Illusion like the mind where it births and grows,
All knows about the existence of mind though not seen.
But love through five senses fills the mind,
And touches deep inside each others minds,
So I know the loving days are not over yet,
Then don’t I see darkness anymore as my own love filled the air. 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved. 2007.

There are people who use MS Office, spending 100s of dollars, Megabytes of memory and a lot of headaches to install, restart and update the software. If you want to know the real quality of this software here is a test you can do. Open a word document and leave it for 5 hours leaving the computer on. You may have to recover the document as the whole software crashes. It is not a folly I am making up. It often happens. The new version of MS Office adds a lot more bugs we can see eating our computer memory and disconnecting the connections of patience in our brain. There is a very simple alternative, Openoffice. This can be downloaded from Openoffice.Org. It is not clean but it can save you bunch of cash and a lot of memory. It is a bit slow to start up but when it is free who cares how much time it takes to start.

 

  Couple of days back I met a guy working in the same building I work. Steve, he is a techie, he is also a beta tester for Microsoft. As I bought a new laptop which is Windows Vista compatible (now my laptop have Windows XP media center edition, but I get a free upgrade to Windows Vista when it is available) I asked him how is the beta testing going on for Windows vista. He told me, it needs at least 2GB of RAM plus, none of the current drivers will work. It is no different internally from XP from the tests he had done so far but looks really good in appearance. I told him I am a developer, how is the development platform…. He smiled and said… “You know what, I can give you a version of Linux if you are interested in developing good quality software, you don’t need to install it in your computer, you can run it from your CD drive. I am telling this because I think you are a good guy I want to see as a sane man in the coming years”… so much about Vista.

 

You guys haven’t seen an update from me for sometime…. Because I was busy with work, even now I am not that free. As most of the guys have gone home for the long weekend. I am just sitting here and typing this. Well… there is a string of poems that may come your way. It all depends on the wonderful people who constantly keep in touch with me, to inspire me to write. However, just now I wrote a poem with a lot of thoughts flashing through my mind. Kinda the same thoughts flashed through my mind a bout a year ago. Looks like the cycle is repeating. I am done for the week…

 

May God Bring Light, Warmth And Peace In Everyone’s Life.

 

Have a great weekend.

 

 

Footprints

Waves over the feet splashed,

Wiping away the sand into salty water,

The caressing though tickles wonderful it feels.

 

Another wave unrolled,

Covering the holes footprints made,

Wiping away every sign of them.

 

While moving on along the shore noticed,

Waves always wipe away the footprints left,

And loved to caress the feet with sand and bubbly foam.

 

Looking back I saw no sign of my walk,

Only the images in mind of the little footprints I left,

Through the waves of time I took another step,

With a wish as question I asked,

“Can I wipe away those footprints from my mind?”

He broke up with you? Why? I just don’t understand. Please can you explain?

Van Halen, R.E.M, The Ronettes, Patti Smith and GrandmasterFlash and the Furious five were selected to be inducted into the Rock and RollHall Of Fame. 600 industry experts selected these artists and bands. Van Halenblew up our brains during the 80s with great songs like “Dreams”. R.E.M of courseknown for the wonderful song “Losing my religion” deserves the nomination andselection. It is indeed not a surprise to see a rock poet Patti Smith in thelist of nominees this year. These artists will be inducted into the rock androll hall of fame at the annual ceremony held on March 12^th in New York. 

Other than the above said, nothing exciting happened in theweekend. I missed internet but I understood I am not that addicted to internetlike I thought. There was this thought like a hooligan stalked me to write. ButI just did not felt like doing anything else when I know this world got the bizarretwists and turns mostly man mad ones. On one side we call for disarmament ofall weapons and on the other side we will spend billions in building new nukes.I think it is time for everyone to think, talk and act for global peace; otherwisethere won’t be anything we can call as a globe anymore.

I heard a great review about the movie ‘Children Of Men’from a friend, I haven’t seen the movie, procrastination consumed my weekend.Then there was this menacing girl who ate half of my Sunday. She is such a painin talks, acts and even in dressing. She can irritate anyone to suicide. But Iknow this girl more than anyone in this world, there is this caring heart ofher which none knows but her boyfriend and me. She may kill my sleep by callingme at 5:00AM but I will not tell anything bad to her as she is a little sisterI never had. She told me she loved the movie ‘Children Of Men’ if anyone elsewatched this movie please let me know how is it.

I did not watched the NFL playoffs much this weekend. Littlesad not to see Packers in there. A lot happy to Giants and Manning out of thePlayoffs. Very angry to see Seattlestill in there. Next weekend I will have my computer and I hope I will be roaringfor the Bears. My predictions (which often don’t happen) it will be Baltimore Ravensand Chicago Bears will play in the Super Bowl and Ravens will win it easily.

Two people need totake a break from everything they say and do, Donald Trump and RosieO’Donnell. They are both self hyped people who will do anything forattention and now yelling at each other saying the other one isdisgusting and ugly. The one fact the world know very well is they areboth ugly, in looks and in character. However, Donald’s daughter…Stunning.

 

 CameroonDiaz and Justin Timberlake broke up, did anyone heard about them inrecent times. This is a big break for Justin as his career is on theway up. I thought he is done when he acted as young Elton John incouple of music videos in the Elton John album “Songs from the westcoast”. Sure his talent is amazing when it comes to music. But histalent to find a good girl… pathetic. That Cameroon Diaz was never ahot looking one and she is too old for him. Justin you are only at thefirst step of life, these are the slippery ones and a fall is fine butyou did a remarkable job in managing the slip without a fall. This isyour day Justin.

 

 SaddamHussain is dead. His daughter who defected from Iraq in 1995 tried tomeet him before his execution. Though one of the most ruthlessdictators this world has seen, that girl is not. It touch one deep whenheard that a daughter wanted to meet her dad who is going faceexecution and found it hard to enter her mother land. It may be a sillyfeeling but feels bad. I think this is a gesture the world leaders mustwatch as they should know that beyond power, politics and money theyare also humans and part of this humanity. On that day Saddam Hussainhimself might have wished to meet his children who are alive. He shouldhave known that for every action that harms another human it will comeback one or the other way in this life itself at least as a bit of painthat takes ones life. I don’t think there are many head of states outthere that don’t have blood in their hands. May be there are someEuropean countries but rest of the countries especially to the westspeaks about peace in one breath and spit fire upon who don’t agree.

Pleasant Feelings.

 

The mild wind towards me galloped,

And upon my face crashed,

The soothing and caressing of an invisible hand I felt,

Warmth I never felt deep inside sprouted.

 

The gladness about everything felt,

As events in life one after another rolled,

Be it good, bad, sad or the angry ones,

In everything at least a thought connected.

.

Every sense in pleasantness swayed,

Thoughts stored away scenes and feelings,

For dreams in the subconscious to be weaved,

And seen when in the peace of rest.

 

How can one find pleasantness when,

One has only anger and sadness to feel?

As when every problem in life presents,

And a solution I finds that brings satisfaction,

To me and everyone my life touches,

In that satisfaction of others and mine sprouts,

Pleasantness, erasing all other feelings from senses.

 

Then there are times when pleasantness I feel,

And for reasons through my mind I search,

Though reasons doesn’t matter for a good feeling,

This time the reason filled my heart,

When the pretty smile of a sweet heart seen,

In my minds eye, who at my eyes looked,

And opened her soul in silence through her eyes,

In those eyes I saw a definition of mine unknown,

And that definition fills my heart with feelings pleasant.

A year passed us by, it had its ups and downs and it is immaterial to talk about everything. There are those who in resolutions live the early days of a new year. One can see them all around. Some in gyms, others even in the blistering cold running around, there are others who are squeezing their hands and heads dealing with the withdrawal effects of tobacco and alcohol. Then after couple of weeks they all get back to normalcy understanding that the New Year day was just another day in which we celebrated newness out of nothing new. In all honesty, we have every right to celebrate every day of our life like a New Years day. Humanity may have its wilderness to curse them with. However the innovations and cooperation we see around us beats every generation ever lived. We have come a long way from brutal past. If someone is thinking that there is something new. That newness must be in the unity and prosperity of us all beyond, culture, color and languages. That’s what I celebrated on New Years day and to everyone my heartfelt thankfulness in making the year gone by a year to remember till the end of my life. It is late but may you all have a wonderful new year that you will remember and make others remember till the end of their lives.

 

This Poem: Many might have thought that the collections of “Yesterdays” poems are done. Nope, I am back finishing them. The first part of this poem was written the very next day after the date. The rest I finished today. Enjoy

 

 

08/30/06.

 

The last phase of the night galloped away victorious,

The morning in gloom stood still,

And the star of the day in summer days so glorious,

Biting some bad luck as his brightness dimmed,

In an autumn morning that took the beauty from some virgin’s eyes.

 

Duck bacon, corn bread and green tea,

All with a good feeling in my stomach filled,

Then through the autumn morning I walked,

To see and with nature weep,

Over the death of greenery from her top.

 

The balding trees looked at the lonely me,

With more sadness than me who at them looked,

And I smiled and told “my body will never fall,

Into the hands and tools of a carpenter,

But Oh’ tree don’t be sad but be proud,

To stand upright, grow and branch out on your own,

As in all care and carelessness, I never learned,

To be on my own and now in loneliness weep.

 

The bare naked branches a bit swayed,

In the cold but light hearted breeze from west,

And to the day I spoke not,

As our romance long time back broke,

Oh’ snail paced she went without murmuring anything bad.

 

The eve of Thursday started well,

When evening looked like a belly dancer in the banks of Nile,

Filled with eroticism of a tantric witch from east,

And the sanctity of a blue eyed girl from the Siberian north,

Oh’ she consumed me with her beauty with the ecstasy of dusk.

 

Sun got better luck in the evening than the morning clouds,

And the golden light lightened minds across the plains,

Scaring away the ghosts of memories of wild past days,

And welcomed night as the glory of another part of time,

Than the dark curse when mankind into virtual death plunge.

 

Looked deep into the molding dark,

Where shapes of all kinds in hallucinations seen,

Somewhere in mind said, the end of one part of life.

Oh’ I wonder what more remaining to be felt,

And I have only five senses to feel it all.

 

Night tightened his dark grip on time,

And sleep crept through every sense of mine,

Before I gave myself away once more thought,

About my own wild youthful days,

Then to another thought I found a bit more time,

That said, “These days are no different than those days,

When wild thoughts and action in sync lighted dark nights,

There isn’t a hurdle that stands between you and your life,

May it be wild, weird or the worst in the eyes of world,

Never let the freedom of thought with aging morality”.

 

No more I thought as I decided,

It is time for another wonderful ride of life,

As I turned to my right and under the sheets,

When sleep played a melodic tune and with darkness danced.

 

© RIAZAHAMMED.COM

I have a small new year gift for everyone in this site. Figure it out. Here is a clue, it is nothing material, but a right.