Month: July 2007

What amazing couple of weeks passed, for some other people,not for me. Every thing became stale or frozen nothing really happened. Ithought of going to Milwaukeeagain as my brother and his family is visiting that place. But the onlyremaining friend of mine in Milwaukeeis out of town. So I am home alone now. Listening to music, browsing the web,hope I will reach somewhere with this.

This poem, I wrote nearly 12 pages of it I don’t know Ikept on writing it then I read it back and brought it to this long, even now Idon’t know what it sense it may make to many people. Still I thought this makessense to me and may make sense to some. This is an emotion drain for me.

Have a nice time everyone. And stay cool.

UnhealedWounds.

Blessed are those who are loved,
The warmth of the care they feel,
When throughlife’s rough streams rowed,
In the glory of emotions healed.

He gave her his soul,
He gave her the warmth and care,
He loved her beauty and all her flaws,
But lost it all in her ambitions unfair.

Traveled through paths not really known,
Held her in mind even when loveless she smiled,
Dreams shattered when passions went unborn,
But still hatred for her never touched his mind so mild.

When love in his mind so precious grown,
Her mind in the depths of doubts and jealousy swam,
Left him to the pain of waiting all alone,
And his heart thrived for a feeling warm.

For the love of sweetest kind he moved,
From heart to heart with love and hopes,
But none could break the loveless fate which proved,
The cruelty of circumstances that bound him in ropes.

Ropes of obligations and everyday chaos,
Oh’ none seen a soul in wishes of being loved,
Failure after failure left life a journey without a cause,
And all the souls he loved left him unloved.

When hopes every time in his hands shattered,
And pain pierced through heart again and again,
Oh, life, loveless all around scattered,
And every dream ever weaved through every vein drained.

Oh’ bloodless veins and dreamless soul squeezed,
Then from the depths of all negative events found power,
To survive and then in the taking of every bit of pain breezed,
Through every corner of life that covered,
All paths of life with misfortunes that seized,
But good he defined in every bad that uncovered,
Ugliness in the pretty faces who all unleashed,
In their pursuit for material pleasures, hatred.

Still somewhere in the depths of mind a face remainedbright,
Though no meanings in life it played,
The mind of a lost lover lost all sight,
And illusions of the emotions of love betrayed,
And he gathered all the shattered hopes and prepared to fight,
Mindless battles of love and passions unafraid,

Tear less eyes, and dreamless heart awaits,
For that face in mind from illusions to become real,
And a new dream to sprout in a deserted mind that never hates,
But the left over wounds in the power of love he trusts to heal.

©RIAZAHAMMED.,COM

Flyleaf – I am So Sick

 

 

Irecently saw a program about animals in the Kalahari desert. One ofthem was a Bull Frog. After the rainy season the frog covers himselfwith mud and goes down the earth and stays down there until the nextrainy season. It reminded me of an act which I do. When everythinggoes negative in life I shut myself out and sit in a corner doingnothing. This is that kinda period. It just makes no sense to attemptanything as I know everything will end in failure. I am not afraid tofail, but it makes me sad when I see people who cares about mefeeling bad and sad when I fail.

Now here is a poem… Read and enjoy.

DeathOf A Material Man.

Where are all the dreamers gone?
Were they really torn apart?
By the harsh realities that stoned,
From all corners of life.

Deep into the mocking alleys walked,
When the loser to the darker side oflife moved,
Graffiti from the walls laughed,
Completed was the mockery of livingthis shady life.

Oh’ how wonderful it all looked,
The smiling faces and colorful eyes,
Truth in those eyes filled and everymind were hooked,
Oh’ how much the world learned to fakeemotions and passions.

Anger in frustration boiled from themind,
With rolled fists he walked throughfilth and dark,
Nothing can stop him in his passionlessoffense that binds,
His heart to shadows that never had anyreal figures.

That which in real never existed,
Only in the rolls of smoke born,
And in the intoxication he found thoseshadows dance,
And every moment more and more lifetorn.

Hated he the light to his path came,
Never looked at any eyes as emotions hedivorced,
A player of screaming illusions hebecame,
As into the darkest paths of life hehimself forced.

With imaginary pride he held his headhigh,
Even when wine, women and drugs failed,
To satisfy his want for more pleasure.he cried,
No tears, no emotions he felt as themurder of emotions he hailed.

Then one night another like him intohis heart fired,
For his own pleasure of blood anddeath,
No screams, no tears, no pain, assilence filled the air,
But when closing his one last timeaccepting death,
From far far away he saw a lightconquering his soul,
Which he never thought ever existed.

© RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Summeris scorching on me now. What a heat. Come on this is like India. Hotand humid now. I hated heat when I was young, now I hate it more. Well I did not do much after coming from Milwaukee. A serious setback happened when trying to get a job contract. That is really bad.Well living with the bad and celebrating the good of life is whatmakes life and interesting thing. The US immigration departmentstopped all green card processing which they made current and askedus all to file for the final stage of processing. I want to get thiscrap over with and move on with my life. Really fed up with it all.Well there are hundreds of thousands of people out there facing thesame situation. Nothing more I can say. Looks like everything iswrong in every front. What did I do when I heard about it. Went for aparty danced a lot hehehe. That’s what it is all about. Then at theend of the night I said… Life cannot control me and I will neversuccumb to the events of fate. I am a believer in fate as I learnedin the last 25 years that I got nothing to do with many thingshappened and happening. It never made me sad. The only thing thatmakes me a bit sad is what is written down as a poet.

Read.

LovelessDestiny

A hundred nights I spent in deepestsleep,
A hundred days I spent in deepest thoughts,
Along camenone in my mind can keep,
Only shadows of myself and othersfought.

Regretful words at me they all spoke,
When denyinglove to and my love for them,
One after the other left my lifemocked,
And with forgiveness I moved away from all of them.

Nomore faces in my mind I see,
No dreams haunt me as sleepless Iremained,
Don’t know what in my mind I feel
But wrath of nonethis soul ever gained.

After decades of searchrelentless,
From the depths of dusty past a lesson I took,
Andengraved in my mind to remind me to be loveless,
As the eyes oflove into my fate never looked.

I smile lot in days andsmile-less in nights I sit,
Watching days and nights in passionpass away,
But still into the depths of my soul echoes hit,
Andhearing the cries of a loveless past sway,
My mind and everycorner of my being,
And once more it all leaves in mind abelief,
That my mind or actions or anything I heard orseen,
Oh’ none of them  controls, the loveless destiny of mine.

© RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Hey I promised more pictures fromMilwaukee, I uploaded it all into an online Album. Visit my onlineAlbum LonelyPoet’sAlbum

Back from home, sounds weird isn’t it? Yes, I left Milwaukee once more. But the good days I spent, yeah, truly enjoyed every bit of it.
   Now about poetry, mmm what to say, I write more in my mind and forget than write on paper and later post in here. There are people who don’t write when they are happy and they forget themselves in their happiness, there are people who write when they are sad or depressed. Then there are people who enjoy the happiness and sadness of others as they themselves don’t know how to live life with both of those feelings. As for me, I recently thought… Am I really human? mmmm there is amble reasons for me to think like that. Maybe I will write more about it on paper and see how much of a real human I am.

Nitin, Manish, Me in front, Deepak and Rao… wow…we are group of Indians who come to Milwaukee Summerfest every year. Manish is quite new he is married, Rao too is married, Nitin will be married shortly, Me and Deepak… haha Well at least another couple of years we will be around playing the singles game.
   I am uploading a lot of pictures into Flickr… it is rather slow.. well I took nearly 600 photos. Not all of them came out good as most of it were taken during concerts. Once I finish my selection and upload I will post the link here. Alright… have a good evening everyone.