Month: February 2008

A Belarussian soldier carries a painting outside the National Museum in central Minsk February 11, 2008. (REUTERS/Vladimir Nikolsky)

A chicken performs a stunt in a park to celebrate the Lunar New Year in Xiangfan, Hubei province, February 8, 2008. (REUTERS/Stringer)

A horse enjoys winter weather and fresh snow in the village of Trusavichi, some 60 km (37 miles) north of Minsk, Belarus, February 13, 2008. (REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko)

Jorge Elich, an 8-year-old lion-tamer, plays with a young lion during a practice session at Circus Paris in El Ejido, near Almeria, southern Spain, January 30, 2008. Elich, the youngest amongst six siblings, has been training the lions in his family’s circus since the age of five after taking over the duties from his ailing father.(REUTERS/Francisco Bonilla)

Twelve-year-old German shepherd dog ‘Gina’ carries the leash of two-year-old Kitty during a walk with their owner (not pictured) in Hamburg, Germany, February 11, 2008. (REUTERS/Christian Charisius)

Swimmers compete in the Water Performance section of the of the 2008 Cold Water Winter Swimming Championships at the Tooting Bec Lido in London, February 10, 2008. It is the first time that the competition, which has attracted almost 700 competitors from all over Europe, has been held outside Finland.(REUTERS/Kieran Doherty)

Peruvian surfer Domingo Pianezzi rides a wave accompanied by a cat named Nicolasa at the San Bartolo beach in Lima, Peru, January 31, 2008. (REUTERS/Pilar Olivares)

My Brother sent this to me.. Check this out

The wheel in hand, smooth and stayed steady,
Sun towards the left of me died in tears,
Those little drops wiper blades consumed,
What a wonderful trip in soliloquy spent.

From the story of a lost lover to politics,
I spent talking three hours in full,
And I knew not how fast those hours of drive went,
And tiredness of the long week, busy work not felt.

With brother and family a wonderful weekend spent,
As the birthday of my little niece in laughs,
And food and more laughs on the snow filled backyard.
Oh’ days of laughs confuse me not,
As happiness of these kinds comes to me without doubts.

Early Monday morning woke up as a fighter,
Yes a dream I saw about a man fighting for a girl,
A girl whom he never thought may love him
The dream played in my mind like a movie,
As the Oscar night before added fuel to dreams.

Five minutes after my waking hour,
Only a vague impression of the dream in me remained,
When at the end the dream I heard her say,
“I will be with you for who you are,
As I love you as who you are,
When the swords of men’s brutality at my throat came,
I have seen courage, I have seen blood, I have seen death,
But in it all I have seen the loving heart of yours,
And here I vow by my sweat, blood and soul,
To live caring your love in every bit of life known”

Those words echoed in my ears during the drive back,
Work consumed me but still I did not forgot,
And another night too passed me by,
And as another busy day roaring at me,
The dream went to where it truly belong,
And me, into the matrix of an inescapable system.

  I don’t know how many encountered people from adult websites outside of their sites on the web. They are indeed normal people like everyone. Here is my experience with them. Warning: I strongly suggest you not to visit any of the sites I am saying here. Even for an adult of good nature, some of these websites are very inappropriate.

 I know someone on the net from Russia. The old soviet blood still boils in his veins. Nikolai. He visit this site too and read whatever I write here. Unlike many other Russians I met, this guy can speak English very well. Maybe that is because of his experience with old KGB. One night I was sitting and trying to write a poem and Mikah as Nikolai is known was pestering me all the time. He in the end asked me what can he do to get me inspired and I told him, “I need to see eyes, blue or green eyes, beautiful eyes of some girl. It doesn’t matter if she is good looking or not.”

Mikah said. “Yes I can arrange that. I know a lot of bitches here”

I told him, “damn you Mikah, I don’t need no Russian bitches to inspire me.”

He asked me “Will you pay them?”.

I said.. “it depends on what you are going to show, send me a picture first and then I will decide” Mikah gave me a link and said, go there register and look for what you want. LiveJasmin website. One of the most weird places I’ve ever been on the net.

 I said, what the hell, and went there. It asked me to enter a nickname, password then asked me to scan my photo ID, fill and sign a form and scan that too. I thought “wow this looks like a site of high standards and security” gave everything they asked for. When finishing the registration it said ” Welcome to livjasmin, Click here to go online” I was surprised. Then I went to support and asked what does it mean by “go online” the support guys said, “You become a performer here not a registered member here”… Mikah the stupid jackass gave me the link to become a performer there not a registered member. That’s why they were asking for Photo ID and fill in a form and scan them and upload it. By this time it was 7:00AM in the morning. And I went to bed.

  Next day Mikah came on IRC and asked me for the poem I wrote looking at the eyes of some girl. I said what happened and started calling him whatever names that came to my mind. He told me to go there and see what is there. So I went back and this time I registered there, and went in. One won’t believe what happened. I went into the chat-room of a girl and took her for a pvt chat as I saw this girl got the best of the eyes…. before I could say anything she went all naked. I told her,

“Relax dear, I am not here to see nudity, I am here to see your eyes, not your ass, I am a poet not a sex addict” nothing worked she was not paying  attention to the chat. One of my friend Shaun came in to my room and asked..”Riaz what is going on with you man, watching internet soft porn” I told him she is not understanding what I am saying. Shaun told me to go to Google translate to Russian what I am saying and paste it into Jasmin site. I did and she smiled and put all her clothes back and asked this..

“Are you gay? because I see another man with you” that sent Shaun running for cover. She knows English.. but so far no one asked her to put on clothes, most people who come there tell her to take it all off and do things quite unimaginable to a normal person.

I said, “nope I am very straight, but I am not interested in sexual pleasure like this. If I need to have it I know where to get it, how to get it, in real life” That girl later became one of my best friends online. Jalena. She is from Latvia.

I met a lot of others in that site. They respect me for who I am. Most of them from the nude section of that site and there is a non nude part where you can find people just to chat.  Still I believe it is one of the worst places anyone could ever end up.

 I once met a girl there called Mary, she actually added me to her yahoo from this site and most of the time we chatted only on Yahoo. Mary always invite me to her room saying she will show this, that and all. I always say… my dad need to be born again, then make me once more for me to do it…mmmmm nope still I will only see the good side of things as I was guided right by my dad. She laughs but I am an outlet for her. It means she says almost everything she want to tell to me the same on the otherway. She is from Romania.

  She was not seen online for a long time and she came back online last week.

I asked her “Mary, dear girl, where were you all these days?”

She said, “I was around, but good to see you”

She told me ” Riaz, I left LiveJasmin”

I was so glad and told “Thank God, Mary you are doing the right thing, it may be hard for you initially as there is nothing good there in Romania” I was about to give her a preaching about how good things will come to her for the good she did by leaving LiveJasmin. But she shut me out by saying this..

“Yeah, I quit LiveJasmin as people were rough and say nasty things at me, now I work for LivePimpin”.

I shut down my computer and did not go online for two days.

I met some great people who came to my xanga from there. Though I have never met them in real life, I think it was worth to know how hard life is in Russia and many other East European countries. It also shown me what lucky people are we here in the west. How blessed we are. It may not make much sense to many people living in this era, they keep on whining about everything and lose belief in themselves. I was born in India, India I have seen a lot of poverty. But there people have hope a lot of hope but many of the girls I met online from East European countries don’t have hope, they say a lot things about love, they can’t love, because, their hearts are frozen.

  On the otherside, some of the people who visit those sites from America and Western Europe, I don’t know how to describe them. They are not humans and know nothing about humanity. They are in the misery of their own insanity. I have no pity for them, because they are a living curse of humanity. Then I know how good many people are who knows how to smile at someone they are meeting for the firs time, for no reason at all.

You all have a great weekend.

This is me driving in Bentonville Arkansas. Such a small town but took20 min to drive 3 miles. Nothing special it is just traffic moving atsnail pace. The video was taken using my mobile phone. One can also seethe condition of a single man’s car.

One of my friend in Australia sent me this picture… the captions were a little different so I am going to add my way to it…

A man got pulled over by cop for speeding and the officer came to him and said,

Sir, please give me your license and registration, you were going too fast for these roads sir.

He said “naa I am not I was going only at 35 you must have got it wrong in your radar, please check it again sir”
The officer got a bit confused by this reaction, he told “I’ll get you the radar report”  while taking the license and registration from the guy.
On his way back he noticed something in the car and came back to the man at the wheel and said..
“Please look at your dog behind sir, that is one sign you are driving too fast”

It is Tuesday, everything must go on Tuesday..

Just waiting for my boss lady to get back to me for some questions I asked. So I thought I will give you a quick update. I don’t think you will see another poem her for another month, if I finish what I am working on now early,  I will post it here. It is long. So for many that kinda sucks. This is something I started doing for my satisfaction. Then I went insane, stopped it now back at it.

Got many invitations to join facebook and I did joined. Honestly, that is most screwed up thing I have used on the internet. It sucks big time. So those who want to read me, come to my home and read. I am not going to come to your place and post what you want for you to say … it sucks.

Generally speaking my life goes really well. When things go wrong, I find a mirror and say.. You suck  big time buddy. Then give a smile at myself.. you know.. I love my smile.

I am going to start a prose work, which requires a lot of help from my friends(real ones I know in flesh and blood, not virtual ones who smiled at me and kissed someone else) On March 25th it will be 10 years since I came to USA. This prose writing will be a look back at the life which many don’t know about. Sajumon that’s the name my mother call me. Ashan is the name of my family. Some of you know about that Xanga site. I haven’t done a lot with it after the attempt to write a conversation with a fictional character. That sucked big time. You may start to see more updates in that site in the coming days. Keep in mind, what one may find there will not be appropriate for the light hearted and those who are below 21 years of age. DON’T COME TO THAT SITE. Because, it is the life of a man who left home, and came to a place and took a deliberate wild ride just to know what it means to live that life. In tears, pain, laughs, happiness and a lot of things which you will only read there, which are not really good in the point of view of many…. Here is the site. Sajuashan.

The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On The Face Of Others.

There is a message of goodbye in the following for someone who misunderstood me. The fault was mine even though I came in the right path I don’t think I can get that someone in my path. I am not going to try anymore. This poem in many ways may not be fully understood by many. It was an unloading of a year gone by. Well if one was here the whole year, yes one will understand what I am talking about. No more explanation.

                           This picture was taken yesterday when I was sitting at work.

                            A Valentine’s Day To Next Valentine’s Day.

One more Valentine’s Day Gone,
One more year from life went,
Into the pages of history.
Event filled life into veins stormed,
Passions of multiple lifetimes felt,
In the thrill of life spent,
In sadness, anger and in it all happiness.

February To March 2007. Days Of Tanya
 

The one girl, the wonderful girl,
With promises of surprise left.
First waited and waited in eagerness,
To hear her voice, to see her face,
But Oh’ love betrayed the soul once more,
When religious fanaticism danced,
When weight of the wallet out weighed,
In the Wild world web and left,
Bitterness of a cheap life,
That should’ve never lived.
 

March To October 2007. Days Of Izabella.
 

In a sleepless weekend she came,
Vowed her life with the perfection of love,
Told to soul what soul eagerly waited to hear,
Shown to eyes, the visual magic of love,
Ecstatic mind sprouted joy of love,
Nothing material mattered as everything thrived,
In the spiritual realm of love.
Inside humans live, the good of all good,
And the venom of evil that makes even devil a maggot,
Jealousy, crookedness and cunningness,
Love lost and anger and vengeance destroyed the soul,
Then mind in meditation gathered the shattered soul,
Rejuvenated but from the depths of soul still could hear,
The whispers of her words of love and care.
 

October 2007 To February 14th 2008. Days Of Rediscovery.
 

Not like a mourning mongrel in the corner laid,
Not a skeptic who forgot to live,
When saw the youthful charm of another life,
In ways of stupidity and unfulfilled promises.
Actions alone cannot make a saint,
Belief alone cannot save any soul,
The blending of both in balance makes, a perfect human.
Not all that were said were heard,
Not all written ever were read,
When doubts of past as illusions haunted,
Then came the realization that smiled and said,
A friend I can be but a friend I could never have,
Left for good for the good of all,
As fog that once covered and from eyesight kept, cleared,
A road to home that was searched for long,
A journey coming round to the place of start,
A journey filled with every emotion of life,
Years felt like lifetimes spent,
In the end the little man who went through it all,
Smiled, feeling every moment in full,
As he know none will cry for his acts,
None will forget to smile at his words.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Better and better days should grow,
Where a bird upon a tree sits and sings,
And so comfortable the bird is,
But how long the bird will sing,
How long she will sit without swaying,
The spread out, mighty old tree.
No matter how careful the bird tries,
Into the flight when the bird takes off,
The branch the bird sat will sway.

On this day, those who love and are loved,
And those who care and are cared,
Those who listen and are heard,
May the changes in the days to come be,
The flight of the bird, smooth elegant,
And comfortable for you all that takes,
Everyone higher and higher.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

This video, came from a chat during the Video conference. Everyone said the smile and kiss were funny. Enjoy