When the weather slowly gained warmth I know the poet in me is tryingto hibernate. Well not long enough…. here is a totally differentthought, long time back sometime in 2001 December, I was walkingthrough San Francisco with my colleague Mike Roberts. Mike wanted tobuy some soft toy for his little daughter and got into a store and Iwas standing outside talking to someone on the phone. I finished thecall and turned to get into the store. A woman dressed in all colorfuldress stopped me and said, “You know more of the next world than thisworld isn’t it?”
I looked at her and said, “yes I do, I am Riaz Ahammed, may I know yourname?” I finished by asking a question. She looked at me and said,”When all you have are questions about this world, what sense it makesknowing about the world after?”
I told her “Nights are always more blessed than days, this world is a day that blinds as from the eternal one”
Suddenly I realized what this is all about. So I asked, “Are you clairvoyant?” She said, “Yes”.
“If it is money you need, I don’t have much cash” I said to her, shesmiled and told me, “Dear man, I know you care shit about money and ifyou have you will give it to anyone in need, but I am not talking to youfor money” she held my hands, looked at my palms and then my eyes andcontinued, ” There is a dark force behind you, no, it is covering you,no easy for a woman like me to deal with, it is powerful, verypowerful, it is from a woman, far far away, far beyond mountains andwaters”
She let my hand down, turned and walked away. By this time Mike cameback and told, “you need a hooker, get a better one, that one is old” Ilaughed while taking a cigarette I gave one to Mike too and we bothsmoked while walking to the bus stop where Mike should take the bus toMarine county where he lived. After he left, I walked back to theplace where I met the lady but my search was futile. I walked throughSan Francisco downtown for more than a year, everyday evening, be itcold, rainy, foggy, windy or sunny, never found that woman again. The day Ileft San Francisco was bizzare, but after I boarded the plane I said inmy mind, “Oh’ man what are you going into” then I smiled and said”prepare to face the dark force, maybe you will find a lucky charm that can help you.”
There was no internet when I woke up earlier today so I just sat andlistened to music. I remembered what I wrote above at that time I said, yes, there is a dark force around me, I cannot defeat it, I cannotpersuade it, I cannot love it. Only someone else can break that darkforce around me. Who? How? I don’t know, maybe it may never happen.Then I came here after I got my internet connection back. Saw a post,then I watched a lot of T.V, browsed many websites, good, bad and naaaI am not a dirty man to go to soft porn sites.hehehe…. I used to, nowI am too old for that too. hehehe. That post kinda haunted me the restof the day then I wrote what I wrote above, then I wrote what is below.
Have a great day everyone.
Faceless Phantoms.
The phantoms of a long lost memories erased,
By the pathos of reality that still lingers,
And shows mocking faces at weeping souls.
How much loved can’t be described,
Words strung together like in a rosary,
But none of the verses in spirit filled,
O forgot I that rosaries don’t meditate,
The one who turns does, but forgot,
To meditate in the love meant to the one.
How many verses said, I don’t remember,
How many ways pursued, don’t matter now,
All ended only at one point in the universe,
You heart in constant beating erased,
Rest of the ways and any other language,
Other than the language of love,
Language, only by your soul understood.
The phantoms day by day lose their faces,
And my own face away I turn,
In directions not known,
But the magic in my heart you left,
Rises like the new day’s Sun,
Gaining glory in depths of life,
Meaningfully defined only by your presence.
Well, I am working on the last part of Tess but I decided to rewrite it, straightening some of my own thoughts about it. There is only person who will truly understand how twisted my mind can be now. 