Where do I start this post? I asked myself that question a thousand times today. I started a new phase of life yesterday. I should be more reasonable to myself in the matter of demands and I should be more responsible about everything I do from here on. Life shows one way, we choose another and end up walking a totally different way. It all comes in a package of positive, negative and of course things that neutrally passes through us all. It is easier to write about it than live it. All those are glittering will lose their shine the moment you think what is seen is not shiny anymore. It is fascinating how people change their minds and that’s what I was thinking all day.
When I started this day I thought I may end up writing a poem by the end of the day with the way thoughts travelled. But it is a déjà vu. I have lived this day. I have thought about the same way many times and I have written many poems in the same structure and theme again and again. I am tired.
I wrote to someone with an open mind, I meant myself to be a better person, I meant myself to try to make another person understand me in a better way. I am not a sick person to feel a connection to another person at all. I am not a person who will just make up dreams and write about it (even though I claimed myself doing that many times). When certain events failed to be part of past and are with me and my everyday life, it makes no sense to impose upon life a self inflicted wound of waiting. However, when someone else is felt every moment of my life in every action I do, either I am full blown insane or I am very much in love with that person. The failure to judge that sanity, insanity issue is where I am right now. I know it is hard in every way to talk to someone you don’t love and I truly understand the mentality of a person who don’t love you at all.
In many ways I tried to string my words and write verses and bind it all into the feelings of mine. But I have said it all; I can only repeat all that was said. I have no more words of mine to say. All I can say is I would have spend every breath for you my inspiration, my darling, my love.