Last week was interesting. I can go through a list of things and say many good and bad things about the week. But is it really necessary to go through the same things and expect a different result? No I am not that kind. Still.. here is what I can say
First of all.. on 12th someone tried to surprise me. It did not work at all. She once told.. one of my stories got into her and she would like to talk to me and I should not be afraid to talk to her etc. etc. etc…. Now she says, every time I say something it gives her stress and makes her upset and what I do is sent her messages and write pages of word documents(my new stories which you can find in http://sajuashan.xanga.com) . You know what first I thought she is just another girl who is exploring life. Now I know she is trying to screw her life up. Each and everyone around her is trying to exploit her for their own advantage. She is running towards a cliff blinded by praises by selfish morons. She will fall that is a historical inevitability but she will not be hurt by the fall, for I will be there to catch her. Even after she wanted to hurt me by blocking me and ignoring me (I recently told her, block me if you want to because I will be truthful about what I feel and you may not really like it) I still will be there and will never let her fall. You know why? Because I know she loves me that much. I just cannot walk away from that much of passionate love.
The next day I found the sun fired out a massive flare. I said it here before.. whenever this event occurs something like this happens…. I may lose jobs or I may lose money or someone will fight with me. Yup it happened.
Then the usual summer things, I am a big bellied 42 year old man.. I wonder why girls almost half my age want to have sex with me. I don’t think I am that attractive. But you know what, they ain’t gonna get me as there is a girl loving me more than I can possibly imagine or even she can possibly imagine. I will do everything to love her back at least half of the love she gives.
And then:- I set up security system and cameras in and around my house So once more the LonelyPoet has nothing to hide, LonelyPoet is not hiding anything and LonelyPoet will not hide anything.
Here is a poem I wrote the next day after my girl told me not to communicate with her ever. This is no communication to her.. read then you will know.
A Bitch And Her Bastard.
Trials and errors ah’ part of life they are,
Easy everything in life will be,
When every event as is accepted.
Love to us through the spiritual world came,
A world about which you never cared to know,
So the love in you for me a conflict,
In the pathetic life and world all around you built.
To you, anyone and everyone I am a misfit,
A dark dot in the room you painted,
A wild creeper upon the castle you built,
Ah’ even in the harshest seasons passed,
And through your failures to understand and accept,
Oh’ my life a survival than a success became.
Sadness I left, anger I left and all of it you questioned,
In those questions I heard,
The touch of love deep from the soul of yours,
Ah’ every moment and in every way when you rejected,
Your own love for me,
A bitch that love became,
A vagabond bastard of that bitch my love became.
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