Month: May 2013

I was in deep thought about my own love and honestly, I don’t know what to say. A million times I can repeat all that is said with the belief that something may change. I am not a competitor I never tried to be and never will try to be one. Then I thought if this is a story it will never end as the reality is a monster that will always try to reach the end too fast. For any reader this may not make much sense I just hope the sensible one will read this and write an epilogue of that story. My hope is with all honesty, sincerity and seriousness. That’s the idea in this poem.

Epilogue.

The sunlight shined with the love for you I felt,
The wind sang a new tune dancing with my love for you,
A new step, a new rhythm and a new line of verse birthed,
In the love of mine that wrapped the nature around you.

Happiness woke only when I think about you,
Then every moment a joy filled dance,
Ah’ happiness upon my heart danced,
With your image the only love I know.

Reality the monster try to tell a different story,
And to that story even reality knows no end,
For all the wrong of wrongs forgiveness I seek,
All your unkept promises ah’ your kindness erased.

The image of you ah’ her eyes with love filled,
A thousand misfortunes about how misfit I am I can say,
For that love, that filled every moment of you,
I can only wish I were the love you only loved.

At wishes and dreams reality mockingly laughs,
That unending story oh’ let that monster write,
Love me and write the epilogue no reality can write,
As the reality of my love always will be you.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.

This poem, the quoted part was written first on an image of a girl. I cannot post that image here as I have no permission to use her image. That’s the truth. I sent her the image and I haven’t heard from that girl afterwards. Like it always happens instead of understanding that it is a work of art not a message of love, this girl may never talk to me again. Her problem and her choice.
Now when I was thinking about that and was driving around I saw wild flowers in the wind and there came the first paragraph of the poem. Then I thought this happened a while back to me as another girl got totally lost in my poems. My mistake was there too as I got lost in my poems about her and felt love. The bigger mistake, my stubborn denial that it will be inappropriate for me. Well, looks like my thought about any romantic feeling from that girl is just hypothetical, so the poem is called hypothetical…

Hypothetical.

The dahlias in the wild with no help bloomed,
And the wind swayed them to show a pretty dance,
Memories like flashes of lightning back in mind flashed,
Rain like a lost wayfarer once in a while sprinkled.

Her image once more in a poem I weaved
And aloud to the world I spoke.

“Loveliness lashed like the wind in a summer noon,
And no one knew where from the wind came,
All around the nature looked
Oh’ very little of nature one can see,
As by the material world the spirit of nature covered.

Then in through the mind’s eyes I looked,
Deserts and seas, mountains and plains I saw,
Ah’ from none of those that wind birthed,
As every bit of sweat, the tears of hard life wiped,
And a comfort for all senses the wind became.

Silence in her dance withered,
Coolness with her touch all around spread,
Leaves of trees and tall grass with her touch giggled,
Touched souls and all of them she wrapped,
As I found every wind of summer from her love birthed.”

Though no sign of her anywhere around I saw or heard,
My own mind filled with love I myself don’t understand,
The wind through my mind lashed, ah’ I forgot to feel,
Then in apologies I laid back I and her image in mind painted.

Every bit of belief, faith, wisdom and skill I searched,
To find a lesser understanding that will kill her love for me,
All I gained is a better belief, faith and wisdom of strength,
Of her love for me and my unchallengeable love for her.

Then I gave up my thoughts to the angels of sleep,
Knowing the reality of my love for her
Unchallengeable in every world my love for her will fill,
Though her love for me is just a hypothetical thought of mine.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.

It will be the worst crime to fake love. What I truly mean is, deep in one’s heart one is connected to a person and go with another person in reality. It’s just not one’s own conscience one is molesting, it is the total destruction of two others too. There is only one question that can be asked at that point. Is the world worth more than 3 conscience and life? If that question is asked to me I will say NO. But I will lay down my life for the “one” who loves me.

No agents or spies will understand what exactly is the meaning of this. Only a true heart who loves me will understand exactly what it means. There is one.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.
Photo Courtesy www.stockphotosforfree.com

May 1st I had an all nighter damn. I still can do that. Well after the party I drove one of my friend all the way to Chicago and came back. It was a tiring day. The weather changed, seasons changed, my language changed as deep inside of me I am a brutal lover. Said that, you know what, I am a  human being who liked to be cared by someone. The one I cared Oh’ my God.. I don’t even know where she is  or what she does anymore. So much for my care. When I was driving back from Chicago I thought, she lives somewhere here.. And through the traffic I drove fast to get out of that place. Right after I paid the tolls I said “Let her go and fuck whoever the fuck she wants, I have to find a girl who wants to be with me” Then I looked at the mirror and saw a sad face than an angry face. What can I do? That’s me. Life can throw fireballs at me but nothing will burn me anymore. Then later in the day I wrote some stuff up it is not a poem something like a prose and talk and it is coming up like a very bad erotic story totally made up. Now at about 2:00 in the morning I know.. I have to sleep and I am going to sleep with a song in my mind “hate me now, hate me tomorrow, hate me forever” then I made up something like an after effect of that song.. “I don’t hate me, I don’t hate you but I don’t like all your friends and everything you love, I have to find a way to hate them and find new ways to curse them” Fuck I think lack of sleep is intoxicating me.

FUCK OFF WORLD.