May 1st I had an all nighter damn. I still can do that. Well after the party I drove one of my friend all the way to Chicago and came back. It was a tiring day. The weather changed, seasons changed, my language changed as deep inside of me I am a brutal lover. Said that, you know what, I am a human being who liked to be cared by someone. The one I cared Oh’ my God.. I don’t even know where she is or what she does anymore. So much for my care. When I was driving back from Chicago I thought, she lives somewhere here.. And through the traffic I drove fast to get out of that place. Right after I paid the tolls I said “Let her go and fuck whoever the fuck she wants, I have to find a girl who wants to be with me” Then I looked at the mirror and saw a sad face than an angry face. What can I do? That’s me. Life can throw fireballs at me but nothing will burn me anymore. Then later in the day I wrote some stuff up it is not a poem something like a prose and talk and it is coming up like a very bad erotic story totally made up. Now at about 2:00 in the morning I know.. I have to sleep and I am going to sleep with a song in my mind “hate me now, hate me tomorrow, hate me forever” then I made up something like an after effect of that song.. “I don’t hate me, I don’t hate you but I don’t like all your friends and everything you love, I have to find a way to hate them and find new ways to curse them” Fuck I think lack of sleep is intoxicating me.
FUCK OFF WORLD.