Crazy Apology

It is a crazy world out there… yeah, almost everyone says that. But what makes one think the world is crazy? I tried asking that question and the answers are very vague.
I am a crazy guy, I agree, that craziness comes from a part that makes people laugh, angry and sometime cry. I mix it all. The call that I am a crazy person comes when I do everything else other than make people laugh. There are people who believe I am a dark horse unleashed and I have no destination.
Well it is true that I don’t show a lot of self esteem or I have none at all. The reason is I don’t care what people think about me. I have lost a lot of people who called me friend because of this. I don’t care about them either. Why should I? Hey the one person I call “My Darling” left me for another guy as I told the truth she herself accepted. I gave only stress to her.. the one part I regret. Said that, I apologized… do you know apology is not a one word speech.. it is a step by step process where the last part is the one word speech. I think I am ready for that one word speech… but I am pretty sure it will be to thin air. Otherwise miracles should happen….. well as I know my life very well….miracles doesn’t happen to me. Hey even after putting myself again and again in life’s wonderful moments, LIFE not really happened to me after the age of about 16. So many-a-times I act like a 16 year old…. If that gave stress to anyone… My sincere apologies … I am really sorry.