Home Of The LonelyPoet

Betray not your soul in the cry of the wicked world,
Screamed the conscience to tell you word to word,
I sat on my seat unmoved and looked for an excuse,
To challenge conscience for a battle of thoughts.

Conscience at times loses all grammar of life,
Through my failures I bring, order and stability,
The so-called wicked world from our eyes hide,
Reality, with masquerades of immoral pleasantness.

In younger days many times and many ways I failed,
Then one day I told a story about my fake achievements,
None but my conscience were there as the listener,
And I woke up as a sad liar who achieved nothing in life.

When the world made me older and from me expected,
Wiser than the wicked ways of my wilder younger years,
Where did my conscience lose his ways to my reality,
I know not as all left in my hands were a betrayal of life.

As in my search for that lost conscience, I later heard,
The melancholic tunes from the throats of a lovely bird,
Following her tunes and rhythm in a path well shown,
I found my conscience that gave me a choice,

The happy version of the melancholic tune the bird sang,
Or forever stay with the righteous conscience of my life,
After years spending my lonely life in tears at last I smiled,
And told the bird to spread her wings upon which I flew to you.

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Sun gathered his might from inside the night,
All distant stars surrendered their dance and left,
The glow, Oh’, I compare to the might of glow I felt,
When into your soul I looked through your angry eyes.

Angry you were at me for verses I wrote or as an unworthy man,
To like you in romance and make you feel loved than one in dreams,
I challenged that fate, learned to love you more as love I surrendered,
Obliterated fear and learned to love better but failed in the fear of yours.

Thought and thought as the sun of our love prepared for a nightly dip,
Fought and fought like a sanctified knight protecting his queen,
Those dark chariots of our love’s night I fought off as I became,
The star, the sun, and all that love seek though unworthy I maybe.

The glow I gained, Ah’, not from my soul but from your soul,
The conqueror of love indeed stole the love from your soul,
For when in your soul I looked all I this knightly thief found,
Love in all its purity and a mighty glow meant only for me.

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Those tall man-made trees with glittering lights stood,
Many like a living monument of the civilized world,
Concrete and steel, wood and pipes all held together,
In them like birds in real trees lived, many human souls.

Headlights joined street lights and shown a path so clear,
As slowly moved the car through the wilderness of the smart,
Unfolded were empty streets and silent alleys all haunting,
A dark spot for the unloved to play hide and seek.

Games of many kinds lovers play, games of many hearts too,
Love of purity and sanctity an old-times wonder and play,
Sat back on my seat as cityscapes browsed past my drive,
Never learned, never played games of emotions and love,

And as nightly cold wrapped his dark grip on those trees,
I prayed for miles I drove back home to find peace,
I spoke to shadows who greeted me with unseen smiles,
As sleep gnawed my mind I said, “Still love you Little Boss.”.

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The raised violin bow lowered and caressed the strings,
Fingers moved and sounds waved through the blessed air,
Closed eyes saw colors filling in the image of a dream unseen,
When eyes opened I saw the talent and beauty of Anastasiya.
Her image brought to mind many thoughts new, old and I wrote,

When in my younger days through cityscapes I roamed,
Someone familiar of my actions and thoughts asked,
“What is it a poetic mind search,
In these busy chaos of a city?”
With a naughty smile, I replied,
“Elegance that sprouts a spring of verses.”.
In the many decades that followed, I found,
One or two to sprout out a spring of verses,
And on this day I add another,
The elegance of beauty and music of a genius.

Mind like a battered ship in sea rocked up and down,
Music gave me more thoughts and colored many dreams,
The musician though with prettiness filled faded from mind,
As shining bright to mind came my Little Boss twitching love.

A thought stormed into my mind about the pretty violinist,
Why such beauty and talent who sprouted a spring of verses fade,
And no love for her in the depths of soul felt nor heart twitched,
The poet loves the music, respects beauty but not the musician.

Another thought broke out of storm and like a lightning landed,
Why read poems about the one I love I wrote and don’t love,
The poet who wrote draining his life through his loving heart,
Maybe she loves the poetry in joy and doesn’t love the poet.

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Following a great thought by Rumi the great poetic soul,
Welcomed all emotions with a smile and each celebrated,
My peace of mind, an understanding, a gratitude prayer,
Oh’, I am no saint, yet, humble enough to boast, a lover.

The lover his lessons all through his loving life, learned,
Life lived in love or aching when love so harshly ungiven,
The word dreams he said meant strings of life paths,
With those strings he weaved, a wonderful montage of her.

Her, the lady where all his definition of love converged,
Heart at times only beat for her and every emotion of his waits,
The loving feeling of her every moment he renews,
The twitch, the flutter, in her heart, makes him a better poet.

Poet wrote many poems and his heart for her so well known,
The footprints with his poetry he left, not even time can erase,
Every day in every way one footprint at a time for her he left,
The path to his heart where love for her sprouts his poetry.

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God owes me nothing for I owe to God all my sincerity,
The roads of perfection I once tried to walk and found,
Those roads perished as humanity left them all disused,
Through the wrongs of life I went, still, God gave me love.

Those disused paths in my mind I always kept,
Every wrong I have done perished without a trace,
The laughs of the devil in a chaotic world went unheard,
The warning sirens went off full-blown and I cared not.

When about to take the tasks of life’s mission I raised,
Both my hands and I prayed to God for blessings and luck,
Then the roads ahead of me perished and a thought came,
Oh’, God had forsaken me in the wilderness of life in critical time.

Every step to every side, all looked same with darkness filled,
All knowledge learned through I searched to find a new way,
Nothing brightened and alone, helpless, unmoving I stood,
One knowledge I gained told, Never to lose hope in God.

Then I thought, why would God help me for I abandoned,
My promises and away from his ways deviated,
That thought was defeated by a light-filled thought,
Upon a stead came and said, “He is mighty and Just.”.

I sat down with my head bowed in remorse and regret,
Nothing I heard, nothing I saw, no leaves moved,
I can’t feel my own breath nor the beat of my heart,
Then a great thought came from my soul that said,

“Forgiven is the one who bows in true remorse,
Forgiveness you feel when love God gave you on Earth,
Didn’t you feel the beat of her heart at least once,
Know well, you are forgiven and she is your only path.”.

I sat there for a long time as life all around me filled,
I learned the lesson that all around me are a reason,
I learned forgiveness I can only earn by forgiving,
I walked and every step left light for future to follow.

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Standing in front of school, in a car I saw,
The pretty smile that twitched heart and told,
How wonderful it is to feel the one part of love,
Other part, Ah’, a definition of great expectation.

In days followed, exchanged, smiles and eye contact,
What dreams she weaved I thought during day and night,
As schools closed and summer scorched skin and hair,
Thought about her cooled me from inside and whole.

Summer passed, cool rainy days came and waited I,
No car, no girl, Ah’, she is gone without a trace,
School days Oh’, days of twitches we define as love,
Buried my thoughts about her dreams in a corner of my heart.

Many summers passed and colorful expectations they gave,
Most smiled, many tried hard to make me weep,
Some indeed only gave relief to a lusty human in me,
One by one I buried them in many parts of my heart.

Then love indeed defined in me as a whole spring song,
And the aches and burns of love brought me to knees,
All the tears for many years in my eyes with strength I held,
Oh’, they fueled another great expectation of mine.

From far and up close her purity in mighty love I felt,
Every part of life woke, lived, and slept with her thoughts,
Alas, and that day came when love’s cruelty brutally tried,
To disappoint and dig another grave for my new expectation.

In my inward eyes, I saw, myself wandering like a wingless bird,
Through that graveyard where flowers from many springs bloomed,
An open grave and tombstone with a verse I wrote for her stood,
Slowly I opened my eyes and to the darkening sky I looked,

Oh’, those stars much older than I am still stood bright and clear,
So I closed my eyes and that graveyard in my heart I redefined,
As a garden of love where every part of my love grew and bloomed,
To fuel a never-ending love meant for her my darling, my Little Boss.

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Pleasure this mindless poet sought,
Dreams extended into half-grown reality,
Chasing after the unreal with athletic vigor,
No past haunting, uncaring present, unknown future.

Passion filled through the world wandered,
A world where the wicked looked nice and wise,
Lost the ways and many bridges behind burned,
That unknown future broke me faster than expected.

Empty hands, empty mind, eyes full of tears,
Doubt-filled looks even from those trusted me most,
Drowning respect and a compassion-less world,
The fall of mine celebrated and the crowd left in laughs.

Then her eyes I saw and all my emptiness erased,
The pleasures I sought all looked colorless and odd,
As my passions, to romance with compassion she tuned,
And through love-filled smiles made herself my only pleasure.

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Waking from the night so loudly shown,
The fears that I lost in yesteryears of mine,
The drama I left and in meditations sat,
As windless cold upon my skin settled.

My breathing slowed as the air hurried in,
In the depth of my chest, they stayed,
And exhaled slowly through my mouth,
Subconscious I felt when seventh I counted.

All touches to outward life in me ceased,
And all thoughts and images from inside erased,
The inward eyes felt the meditating soul,
Where emptiness and silence for meanings fought.

Then the meditating mind slowly felt a dawn,
Darkness erased and light rays like arrows came,
The source of light came with no fiery crown,
A simple chariot of light by horses of fairness dragged.

From which she came to me and smileless she asked,
“Why blind thyself in verses so fantastically pure?.
Love-filled thou live in imaginations so vivid,
What inspires thou to such magnificence in a wild world?”.

The inward eyes of mine in a feeling of romance sparkled,
Such was the grace of the angelic figure that spoke,
Her face though to my eyes in the aura of her unseen,
Deeper and deeper my soul stretched to contain her glow.

Then to her, I said, “An autumn once colored my dreams,
And through those dreams, I silently weaved a shawl,
The threads were two-ply one of mine and another of an unknown,
Such were the perfections in the weaving as all it spread was love.”.

I looked in my experience with life to find a metaphor to describe,
Found none as no love in such purity existed ever I have known,
I said, “Once that loom became empty and the shawl brightened,
I took it to a girl I dreamt about from childhood and gifted.”.

“I looked hard to see that face with love filled but blinded stood,
In the wilderness of the world were my life unsorted fell apart,
In that pain about gladness with her, I wrote, in my gladness I felt,
About any pain I can erase from her life in verses I wrote.”.

“Such verses reached you, Oh’, the one from a world to me unknown,
And here you are blessing my meditation with thy aura and speech.”.
The figure to the chariot turned and the horses as if ready shook,
Then to be she turned and said “Love of mine isn’t it what you wished?”.

Then I saw that face which ended my romantic meditation,
The face of Little Boss in all glory that brightened my love.

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Wrote and wrote what felt like mindless thoughts,
Into verse and mind became clear and loud,
As all that I felt were romantically understood,
By a lady of class and culture who felt her soul.

And through my mind to her in energies, I spoke,
“Life ahead is an ocean of light so bright and clear,
Never at it directly look in search for meanings unclear,
For, you may become blind about all that is to come.”.

“Soul of ours once born as one and spent apart growing,
Ah’, now united as one bound by the golden charms of love,
The soul doesn’t die and love-felt-soul will keep feeling,
Love of yours even beyond end of times, Little Boss.”.

In someone else’s winter, my flow of life froze,
For someone else’s happiness, I shed my last smile,
The inspiring speeches to my own heart I never spoke,
The dream about to birth new, in brutality, aborted.

Still a lot of love unconditionally decorated my soul,
Love is like Sunrise and Sunset they all look the same,
Every day, but they all differ in many ways one easily notice,
And about a dawn sometimes I think with Little Boss beside.

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